NY party: home, sweet home!

Really, there's no place like home!And NY party is no exception. This probably is the craziest time i'm blogging: in Russia it's 4:48 exactly.Well, the party was traditional but great: Vladimir Putin's speach, Moet champagne, salads, fish and of course vodka.I didn't drink any!But anyway i'm ok now, an hour earlier i was a bit merry after a glass of wine and um...i didn't count champagne...probably 5 glasses...after these i was a bit merry, but i usually get fine in little time,so now i'm bright and don't want to sleep at all!But gotta go wash my hair after so much hair spray i vaporised on it...
Me and the pine
Merry me and my even more merry mum:)

Yesterday NY party at Iridan

Yeah,it was great...as usaual.Here some photos to prove.I was a pig.A cute pig.I mean it was just ok,cause one of my firends was a chicken.I fyou see a strange costume with lots of yellow feathers - that must be a chicken,though she didn't really look like one.It was quite dull till our teacher got drunk and decided to show us some tricks with fire...ehm,we were scared when that burning stick flew into us,the spectators...but nobody got hurt,just scared.When there were no plastic glasses left...well,you can imagine.One enthusiastic guy was wandering around trying to organize a 'ruchejok' game...he was the only enthusiast so far,but after 10pm everyone was quite ok with ruchejok and this young man was satisfied at last...then we did fireworks.Beautiful.Um,so thats it.The report is over.See the photos below and wait for todays party report;)!
For god's sake,don't be scared,not all of us are like that guy pretending to be "Lord of the Dance'...he looks more like Lord of the Trance...

Pirates and vikings...

That guy to the right from me loks scary,but he's nice in general...

Me the pig:)

The king of fire...and the famous burning sticks...

Guess what.Ruchejok!I wasn't that drunk to participate.

Easy comes...easy goes!The year i mean

Some people(including me)think we shouldn't ever look back,we should moove forward.That's why i don't want to overlook this year wich is leaving us once more:i lived it,that's enough.I have no right to say it was bad for me,cause for some i love it was much more difficult,so i would say it was just...er,tiring.There were moments i want to repeat,there were some i'd like to forget and never remember again.All i can say that life is beautiful,life is great,whatever it gives us and whatever it takes away.It's just...you know...normal.Something comes,something goes...but the best things in our life stay forever,at least in our hearts,thats why i can definitely say i love it.I said we shouldn't look back but here's just a glance.Here things that stay.
Friends stay.I met lots of interesting people and looked deeper into my old friends and saw something new,something different,something great.There were lots of tests,but i believe it was for the best:we always have them to prove mostly to ourselves that there's no other thing like friendship,and that when your friend has troubles,or when we both have troubles other things don't seem to matter.
Dreams stay.I can't say i'm very dreamy,but i have lots of dreams.Little of them may come true in 2007,but hope for some.But anyway they will stay and wait till their turn to come true.I believe in the old proverb 'everything is good in its season'.
Family stays.Sometimes i think i could kill my parents,but when i understand how much i am addicted,how much i love them...
Inner world stays.It's not influenced by the troubles from the outside,it always stays the same:only for you.
Your world stays.Your world is your friends,your family and your dreams.
That is all about looking back.I'd like to look into the future.The next year must be terrific,i feel it.But anyway i hope it won't disappoint me.At least i know i'll be happy anyway having all those things that stay.Time for NY resolutions:):
1.I'll become more tolerant.
2.I'll do everything i possibly can to help.
3.I won't quarrel about stupid things.
4.I will show those i love that i love them more and more often.
5.I'll pay more attention to the household stuff.
6.I'll stop thinking about the future so much.
7.I'll play more with my dog and cat.
8.I'll smile and cry whenever i want.
9.I will finally understand that small worries can't affect happiness in general.
10.I'll overcome all the difficulties life gives me(with only little help;)
Thats all i can think of right now,probably later i'll remember smth else.Thanks for attention:)and Happy New Year to everybody!Love,Juljul:*

Oh yes,man is a fool...blah-blah-blah

"Sometimes I see
How the brave new world arrives
And I see how it thrives
In the ashes of our lives
Oh yes, man is a fool
And he thinks he'll be okay
Dragging on feet of clay
Never knowing he's astray
Keeps on going anyway"

Ok,that was just an introduction:)When juljul was merrily looking through work premit visas or vacancies in Ireland i came over a TSA term...so here what it really means: Technical Support Analyst...how dull,my interpretation's much more lively!

Party

Well, party's over, all cleaning done, presents stuffed into the wardrobe:)...here some photos:enjoy!It's a pity the photo where i'm blowing down the candles is not on my camera,but i'll upload it later.

Seasons greetings...

Um,hello everybody!I'm Juljul,nice to meet you.I'm not just Juljul,i'm that special kind of Juljul who's 16 today...yeah.Dear god,the person who used the expression 'time flows' was stupid,cause it surely doesn't flow,it runs,runs as fast as it can like a chaised rabbit!!!Life runs,i run...we're all in a hurry.We all are hurrying to happy future that lies ahead and i'm in no way pessimistic about it!I'm happy,though i don't feel any more older.I promise solemnly to everybody that i'll stay the same,or at least change for the best.Thanks to everybody who wished me all the best today,that was really great,i recieved greetings even from my hohlyatsky friends and i was confused and happy!Thanks once more,you know i love you all!Just the way you are;)So i don't change - you don't change:a deal?Ok,i'll go and prepare for the tomorrow party...
P.S.I'm really glad cause i'm writing this post om my new pc,woohoo:)

Honeymoon

Yeah,you're bored aren't you?But the end is near,only honeymoon plan left!
1.Some island in the pacific.Fiji...?One of the tiny islands in Fiji's called Taveuni.
Where:
2.Accomodation.Coconut Grove resort is not the best of course,far from luxurious,but what will i need?As far as i'll have a bed and some meals it's ok.Could be 2 different bures.I chose the second.
Mango bure.
Description:
From every window are views of the beach and the garden, with mango trees and butterfly orchids in abundance outside.
Large windows allow the warm tropical breeze to carry the scent of flowers into your room.
The Mango Bure has a queen size bed and overhead fan. There is also a single bed under the front windows on which you can read your book, and a small fridge nearby for your cold drinks. It is a spacious room with high ceilings, and the walls are covered in indigenous reeds that give the room a real island feeling. There is a large verandah in the front with two oversized chaise lounges. It is the perfect spot to spend the late afternoon and watch the colors of the sky change over the ocean as the sun sets.
Our island is famous for the kula birds, which are like small parrots. And the best seats in the house at sundown are on the verandah of the Mango Bure. You will see them flitting through the air at sundown, flying in packs from coconut tree to tree.
From the bathroom you step outdoors to the attached hot water "honeymoon shower". It was built from lava rocks we found down the island and has a banana tree cascading over the rock wall. Talk about a special place to bathe! You haven't lived until you have showered here, outdoors, in total privacy looking out at the sea.
3.RATE: US$195.00 per night for 2 people + gov't tax.Ok-ok,could be cheaper...hm...
But on the other hand this rate includes:
*Accommodation in your beachfront bure
* Transfers from the airstrip here on Taveuni
* Tea & coffee in the morning, afternoon tea with homemade cookies
* Sunrise from your bed in the morning
* Use of our ocean kayak and snorkel gear
* A complimentary 1/2 hour massage for one of you in our new massage bure on the beach
* Snorkel trips to the reef
* Village visits
* The sound of the ocean from your bed each night
4.Activities(besides usual activities of newly wed couple)
Nature hike to Bouma Waterfalls
The Lavena Coastal Walk
Birdwatching in Qeleni Village
Vidawa Rainforest Walk
Waitabu Village Visit
Horseback Riding
Village visits
Full-day sails
Snorkeling trips

Here comes the groom...

...ta-ta-ta-da...
(there no words in this march for a groom,sory)

11)Tux.Oh my dear god.I just couldn't find the righ one so i picked the one Ksju liked.I like it too:the best from loads of tuxes i've looked through.Though in my previous post i said everything i thought about tuxes.Too formal.But wedding is a formal occasion after all...

12)I need some less formal dress for a party.Cause i can't imagine myself lifting my wedding dress over my knees,putting on hard shoes and dancing a jig!Here it is:
13)I though i could change my shoes too...to smth less formal.It's gonna be a party after all!
14)Groom's less formal wear:i'm sorry, i can't help thinking about checked knitwear!I'm paranoid on checked knitwear!CHECKED KNITWEAR!!!!
15)Reception.Well...we won't have any party on the lake,cause sooner or later we're gonna freeze there,so i guess there'll be rustic chairs with cozy cusions,like these.But of course this photo was taken at the seaside,but pretend they're on the lake!
16)Cake.At the reception there'll be served this small tarts and the cake itself will be waiting for guests in the restaurant.The tarts:
The cake:traditional is the best!Snowy-wight...uh...
And of course drinks.At the reception there'll be some cooling drinks in case i would faint.And some hot drinks.Very ho drinks,cause as i've said before poor guests will freeze there!
17)Music.I don't want the traditional march,i'm sick of it.I need something special...i have several proposals,you can vote:
1.Tween Peaks theme by Angelo Badalamenti.You could think that a track from a thriller is not the best choice,but hey,just listen!It's marvelous!
2.Everlasing love by U2.I'm not sure myself,but it could be.
3.Misty by Frank Sinatra.I love you,Frank!
4.Majestica by Lisa Lynne
5.Morning Prayer by Steve Schuch and The Night heron Consort
The most likely are numbers 1,3 and 5 especially,but i haven't decided yet.All other songs i could leave for the party.

We wish you a hairy christ moose etc.

Sorry for off the topic, i'm just tired of searching for a perfect tux(though i don't really like tuxes, but i know it'll be strange for a groom to wear some...er...knitwear or a sweatshirt).
So Christmas is coming,the goose is getting fat...poor goose...die on Christmas eve!Auful death, if you ask me.S New year and Christmas(and my birthday;)are approaching and i can't wait 3 fucking days till holidays and then...oh,miracle!I can't believe it!Only 3 days!T-h-r-e-e!!!Can't wait ...
...1)to see the reindeers on their way
...2)to sit in my warm bed , drink hot chocolate and see the wsnowflakes coming down slowly
...3)till making snowmen and celebrating with those i love
...4)here i am:

Here comes the bride all dressed in wight...

...Sweetly serene in the soft glowing light
Lovely to see
Marching to thee
Sweet love united for eternity.

Time for a new optimistic post.This's gonna be a large project in two parts,so be patient.I had to do a deal of research for this one so you should pay tribute to my work.I was inspired by my recent dreams(remember,Ann?).The thing is,i had a dream where i was getting married for two nuights and i decided to create this post.I need to put it all in logical order.The logical order tells me to write who the groom is first,but i'll ignore my inner voice.Not for long.(ha-ha,this is a joke).

1)Season.
Late spring or early autumn.Lets say may or september,as long as it's mild outside.
2)Time.
Morning.It could be dawn actually.Sorry,dear guests,you'll have to wake up before sunrise.You could do such a little thing for your precious Jul,couldn't you?
3)Location.
The ceremony itself takes place in Ireland(i know,i'm not very imaginative),co.Wicklow,Guinnes lake(i didn't choose the location by the title!)See below:

There's definitely smth wrong with the link,but you still can check it out:
maps.google.com/maps?f=d&hl=en&saddr=Ireland,Wicklow&daddr=&sll=37.0625,-95.677068&sspn=31.977057,58.183594&ie=UTF8&t=h&om=1&z=11&ll=53.009826,-6.047974&spn=0.18963,0.679779&iwloc=addr
4)The essential thing:the ring.I think all Piaget jewellery's beautiful,but his rings are special.Espessially the Piaget wedding possession ring.It's simple but on the other hand quite exqusite.Perfect for a wedding ring...the prise is another matter...

5)The dress.Just as the ring:simple,but exqusite.Just like this...


6)Bride's maid dress.Sorry girls if you don't like it,you'll have to wear this.I'm sure you're ready for this little sacrifice!



7)The veil.I had to cut Marcia's face a little.I love the veil cause you look like Lady Marry...no,really,this special headband makes it special.

8)The flowers.I'm not sure yet...i think of white peonies.I love peonies,they remind me of my childish home:my granny used to grow lots of peonies in our cottage...these are happy memories:)So there're definitely going to be peonies.And little roses.See below:



Plus the bride's maids will carry small bunches of lavender:


9)Oh dear...nearly forgot about shoes!I'm torn between two pairs of Jimmy Choo's...
These...

...or these...

10)Well,the other dilemma is my mom's dress...i thought of these,but i'm not sure...i hope she won't get mixed with the bride!

Sorry guys.i'm worn out...TO BE CONTINUED

Feverish.Glamour.Surgery.Nonsense!!!

Found british Glamour magazine in my messy cupboard...read some of it.Who do they think we are?An extract from the article "14 things we wish they'd invented for women".1)Majical skinny jeans.They go up and down half a stone with you, always retaining that "ooh,i've lost weight" half-inch gap around your waist.(ok,ok,agree with this,that would be quite convenient...)2)Bastard-o-meter.Will flush out a fake 100 meters (can also be altered to "attract-a-bad-boy" setting if required).3)Screech-free wine.This new grape prevents high-pitched shreiks,irrational weeping and shameless participation in karaoke.4)Everlasting lipstik. Although we'd settle for one that lasts through the main course.Well,ok,i have to agree with this 4,none would refuse having such stuff, but the thing is that the rest 10 things are colour-coded cars, cake diet, ultimate bikini, personal tech-hed and non-invasive lipo(yuck)!I won't even name the rest - too disgusting.So does anybody still talk about women' rights,huh?Forget it...Oh,also an ad:"If you're not happy with the way you look...change it!".And...ta-da!Here goes a list:breast enlargement,genital reshaping,breast reduction,eyebag removal,nose reshaping,hair transplant,line reduction,tummy tuck,liposculpture,breast liftup,face lifting...hmm...sounds appealing...Remember, i told you to forget it.Nonsense.What am i writing about?!(Next sentence has nothing to do with plastic surgery.)Ilya and Anna are planning my future.I can't. I wonder why. Why am i so indecisive?(At least i hope it has nothing to do with plastic surgery...whoknowa,maybe they'd like me to make a tummy tuck or eye-bag removal,huh?)

Movie of all times!

Passed a test...Well,i thought i liked a horse-faced guy,
but it turned out to be a constantly joking guy...Try the test;)

Home sweet home...

Stayed at home today.I feel so,well,strange:)Strange to be at home,strange not to be sleepy,strange in every way!I wander why are we all so stressed,nervous...?Is it time pressure or what?Cause i become more and more irritable every day...awfull,actually.Today's an exception from the rule,it doesn't count.I don't want to imagine what i'll be like when i'll have -don't know how to call it-kind of extra-mural french.But the mane point of it all is to get accustomed as fast as possible,to avoid being too nervy.Oh,nearly forgot,thanks to старая дешевка i'll have russian too,cause i don't think i'll pass the exam well enough if she'll go on teaching us like this(and believe me she will!)Ok,no more school!See: it's on my mind even when i'm at home.Done with it.I wander how are Anna,Aline and Ilya there...and lusty Nastine!!!!!

No comment

Today was much of a day...i won't even comment on it,cause i don't want going through it once more.Just a brief overview:many of us were histerical/predhisterical today and when i was going home by metro i thought-what the fuck?!-oh my God,why?Why me,why so?Why so difficult,so complicated,so...cloudy at the horizont?I can't understand why i can't live today and be happy?Why do i have to look in future every minute?And realize every minute how complicated,difficult and cloudy it is?!I know i should live today,i know it...but i can't.Final.I just can't.Pity me...Dum spiro,spero, as our latin teacher would say...

Everything

Yesterday night i felt gloomy cause i had lots of things to do and i realised i don't have enought time fot everything(not that it was the first time i realised it) and i felt really..well,bad.Cause i thought of life.Everybody(well,not everybody,but at least those who's blogs i read;) wrote it is great,great for different reasons.And yeaterday night i thought about it and some very unpleasant thoughts and feelings were messing in my mind.Like what if my dreams won't come true?Like what if it all will turn out in a different way?Not in the way i expect it to turn out?What then?I don't want to embody them in my chldren as most of people do.I don't want that.I want to have it for myself.I want to have them,my dreams,for myself,and moreover:i want to have them come true.And you know,after all this things i thought about i felt better.It was a pity it was about 1a.m.,so too late to call anybodyand whine,and i couldn't tell this all to my mom,though she asked why i was so furstrated.I love her and i know she wans to help,but i'm just not ready.Not now.So anyway,i felt better,cause i thought:why do i think in such a way?Why the hell do i think they wonnt ever come true?Why do i think my life will be unworthy?I can't,i don't have any right to think in such a way!It really is great,and,believe me,it's up to all of us to make it the way we want,the way we would like it to happen!So if anybody i know starts to think in as a stupid way as i did just read this post once more.It's all nonsence in a way,but it's true.It's great,it's beautiful,it's all up to us.Life;)...

November 21 definitely sucks

Today was an 'oh-my-dear-god' day...(or just a fucking day,for short)(all i can say's fuck me...)(don't get that too directly).I thought i wouldn't swear at my blog but fuck this all!!!Писец.No,really,i don't wanna have all these tests tomorrow and to go to this hell we call lyceum.Not hell probably,but just some place for the departed...do i look like a ghost?I may,cause i need sleep and i can't have it,so...er,well,optimism,we say;).I know,i know,it's just what i feel like at the moment,but still.I just don't feel like Bolscheviks' revolution(bolschevik:)...looks funny) or algebra!I don't feel like numbers or functions or like french grammar.I feel like fucking you all with all this,i'm sorry.I thought i wouldn't swear.Wrote 'fuck' 4 times.And 'bolschevik' looks like a swear word too.

MI6 agent Bond back at Her Majesty's service!!!

Today watched Bond,James Bond.Seriously,he's not that charming as Pierce,but i can shut my eyes on this little misfortune for a secret agent!...Who cares?!He's an 00 agent,for God's sake!As for the second poster,i just found the phrase pretty funny: "everything he touches turns to excitement!ЭYeah, sure, James, especially if it's a naked woman! So this is it,James's back...Have to admit my life lacks risk,romance and...er...secret agents...blonde secret agents(ha)(sorry,not that i have anything against it)(i could be on service,couldn't i?Especially...well,never mind,Anna,you should know what blond guy i'm thinking about at the moment)(not an MI6 agent of course,but i could be pretty well off without such stuff)
Come on,James,i could be helpful in your risky business!

To my beautiful,smart,charming friend(u know who)(HWO)

She may be the face I can't forget
A trace of pleasure or regret
May be my treasure or the price I have to pay
She may be the song that summer sings
May be the chill that autumn brings
May be a hundred different things
Within the measure of a day.

She may be the beauty or the beast
May be the famine or the feast
May turn each day into a heaven or a hell
She may be the mirror of my dreams
A smile reflected in a stream
She may not be what she may seem inside her shell.

She, who always seems so happy in a crowd
Whose eyes can be so private and so proud
No one's allowed to see them when they cry
She may be the love that cannot hope to last
May come to me from shadows of the past
That I'll remember till the day I die

She may be be the reason I survive
The why and wherefor I'm alive
The one I'll care for through the rough and ready years
Me, I'll take her laughter and her tears
And make them all my souvenirs
For where she goes I've got to be-
The meaning of my life is she...

This is my favourite love song and i guess it's the most beautiful i've ever heard.Probably it sounds a bit romeoandjuliettish(just invented the word)but it is beautiful:just how a man should love a woman.Not every can.But we don't need this "not every".
My friend(sorry,just in case there'll be...you know,questions)you are beautiful,you are smart,you're witty,you're faithful,you don't lie.He may be handsome,may be smart,may be witty,he's unfaithful,he lied.Weight this.You know you need someone better.I know it,i'm sure.We both know it.Two of us can't be wrong.Lies is probably the most annoying thing in human nature.Sometimes we need to do it.Sometimes we don't.Its us who decide whether it's nessecery or not.In this case it was not.It was his weakness.We all have our weaknesses,but this was simply disgusting.He's not worthy,at least not of you.You're worthy,at least of someone better.Much better.You know it.I know it.We both can't be wrong.Consider it.This is not to make you happy,i know it won't,but just to show you once more who you are,and who he really is(or was,is you please).Consider it.In any case i'll be by your side.Don't bother.

THEY

So here they are,those you all've been waiting for!It took me lots of time to find the photos,so pay tribute to those you see...
1)Godly Braddy

2)Jeremy Irons(the younger one)

3)The one,the only...Anthony!!!

4)For he was Bond,James Bond
5)Paul Newman,heh...
6)Too young to be a Godfather(Marlon Brando)

Guess who(sorry,HWO)

Today was just...a day.I did nothing special.But.Big BUT.Today a very special thing happened...ta-da,guess who's back....ANNA SOKOLOVA (as Otto liked to say):))!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!I can't believe i'll see her tomorrow!(i guess i can write you,cause you'll read this;)I'll see you at last!At last...!Ooooh,can't wait till tomorrow...Can't wait-can't wait-can't wait!!!!!!

Have no time to write...gotta go walk my dog...have to go to British council...have to go to the library...have to visit French culture center...ooh,a lot to do....
7:57pm
Got home at last!Home,sweet home!Spent like 5 hours in the fucking library reading the "Evolution of Sinn Fein"(Irish nationalist party).Well,lets say English in 1920 was a bit different and quite funny:)
This book changed my opinion about O'Connell...I never thought he was such a...idiot.And Thomas Davis turned out to be a hero...oops,everybody writes different!Ok,won't bother anybody with Young Ireland and United Irishmen conflict!
Just kiss me,i should have been born Irish!:)

Oh dear me...

Had nothing to do...did smth strange...wow,i knew all these quizes are for oldie spinsters or some like me...

Your love is... by ChibiMarronchan
Your name is...
Your kiss is...	breath taking
Your hugs are...	to die for
Your eyes...	burn into my heart
Your touch is...	awakening my heart
Your smell is...	beautiful
Your smile is...	encouraging
Your love is...	one of a kind

Oh dear,what the hell am i doing?!

What Makes You.. by SheBangs12
Your name?
Your gender?	MaleFemaleOther
What makes you sexy?	Everything
What makes you pretty?	Your style
What makes you loveable?	How sweet you are
What makes you fun?	Your adventurous nature
What makes you irresistable?	Your flirtatious nature
What makes you cute?	Cute? You? Hahaha.

Who makes you horny? Hobbits? Elves? Men? ...Something else??? by snorts
Name/Username:
Who turns you on?	Dwarves.
Why?	You like to ride them.

Test post

I am doing 43 things.

Lord and HRH the Swimmingpool(The perfect man.The perfect story.The perfect murder.)

Today had a great time with Aline and Ilya at the cinema(and Babushkini Blinchiki of course).The movie was fantastic: i didn't even doubted good old Woody would have made a wonderful job!I never notied before what a good actor he was...Splendini:)...Hugh Jackman's a bit irritating but the director made up for this little misfortune.What about Scarlett,it's amazing but she hadn't spoiled the movie either!She even seemed nice...Nice!Scarlett!Johannson!Incredible...I liked the limbo part most.Quite realistic,if you ask me.And just a good idea:Woody never stops to surprise!And the drowning part is a good lesson:if only there could be a splendid pair of some Lord and swimmingpool...And if only i was a good actress...oh...But i can be when i want so it's just a matter of lord-swimmingpool coincidence(but why only swimmingpool it could be whatever a place where there is any water)
(I can still hear your voice on the trade winds
I can still tase your tears on the foam
But the lure of the tide that i'm feeling inside
Will not rest till me heart finds its home)
(just smth about water,sorry if it doesn't fit in here:it's a beautiful song)

Psycho and georgians

Everybody wanted me to write smth new so voila,here it is!Anna's in Paris,i miss her already...she promised to send an sms when she arrives,but still nothing...probably the plane was delayed again,probably there's smth wrong with her phone or...well,i'm a bit worried cause of this snowfall and stuff but i know everything's all right.And after all that's Air France and not some Siberian Airlines!
That was just some news,now the thing i wanted to write about.Don't be angry with me(no no,i'm not pessimistic at all),i just didn't know what to write about but everybody orders me to write so blame yourself when you read it!
I've been told once(too late though)that men' psychology is quite illogical(no offence guys).It's just that they need to win and when they do...oops - interest's over!What i want to say is that they like you as long as you don't show any interest.When you start to...well,there can be 2 ways:a)a happy ending,b)(wich is more likely) a bad end one.I can't understand the reason!I can tell you:i've had such an experience...er...3 times.All this 3 times were a disaster.Nearly a disaster.But hopefully only one was complete(wry smile).Once(quite a long time ago and to tell the truth i don't remember everything in detail)(plus i was younger and less self assured) i just came up to one guy,said i liked him,he told me the same and we split up a month later.Then one guy said he liked me but i was as stupid as to tell him i liked his friend...i not only lost my chance but also kind of made their relationship uneasy...not that i blamed myself a lot.And now...he asked "May i ask why?"!My god...why could that be i wonder?!Oh,sorry i repeat this,but it just,you know,kind of shocked me.So the question is: if everything ends up like this,should you tell them you like them?Or you'd better shut up?I don't know...from now on i guess i'd better shut up,but who knows if it's right?Oh,it's so complicated!At first i thought like: come on,just tell!At least nothing bad will happen!"...but now i see that lots of bad(well,not bad but still quite unpleasant)things can happen.But strange men are not a reason to hide away,aren't they?

Yesterday when i was in the metro on my way home from dancing classes an old georgian man set by my side.He started to tell me stuff like "you're so beautiful and blah" and "could you wear military uniform"(haha)...i just sat and said nothing cause i knew he was just a typical old georgian half-drunk man.But then he said:"You should make the men you chose do what you want.If you haven't chosen him already of course".I said i have not yet.Then he wished me happiness and went off the car.I was stupefied.Really,it was like a prophecy or smth like that...I will remember things you said,my old georgian friend;)!

I'm done for today.Good night everybody!

Back to normal.Silence.

Hi everybody.You can congratulate me:I guess i'm back to normal.At least i hope so.Of course i have some unpleasent post syndroms,but in general it's all over now.As if...ok,closed the topic,as i like to say since wednesday.So windy outside,so cold and wet.But i like it now...quite...er,romantic.Thank god holidays are near - one week left and a whole week of rest...!I'm not sure if it's going to be rest exactly,cause i have such a trate that even if it's holidays i'm still busy.Thats my trate:i'm always busy!I always find smth to do...well,that's just me.Quite a short post,but i can't say much now...it happens sometimes:i'm just not in the mood to talk.i could say i'll enjoy wind and silence,but my father is vacum-cleaning my room,so that's not silence exactly...
Je voudrais habiter au(ou a la?) ferme en Bourgogne ou le silence total est merveiux.

This cruel,unfair world wich turned me down...

No,seriously,why is it all so unfair?!When(thank God,at last)(!!!) i decided to do a more or less sencible thing i can't do it!Really,that's just NOT FAIR!Come on,TSA,is it so difficult to switch on your internet for a while...?We happen to live in a fully modernized world with highly developed communications,why not use them when necessary(i would say when i need it).Am i selfish?I don't think so.It's you-know-who who pretty much loves himself and can't get his holy butt down to his comp!!!Men confuse me.I confuse men.Probably we just are not created for each other?Should i become a lesbian then?Yuck,i'm not that furstrated...so i'll keep on confusing them till i get what i want,and that's FINAL!!!
(Everybody thanks for understanding and helping to gather the strength i have now,i love you)

Me VS TSA

I'm back...yeah.Not without smth to tell,as usual:).But it's not going to be anything funny actually.Firstly i wanto to congratulate Anna and say one more time i'm so happy she's found
happiness at last after that week of hell.Now back to me.

Well you couldn't be that man I adored
You don't seem to know,seem to care what your heart is for...
But i don't know him anymore(unfortunately i do,so this bit is here just to rhyme...)
(...)
I don't care,i have no luck,i don't miss it all that much,
There're just so many things that i can't touch...I'm torn(and so on and so forth)

Ok,done with this song wich stuck to me several days before and i can't get it out of my head!The thing is that...I can't get the TSA(ask me later) out of my head as well.The problem is not that i think about him or smth...it's something worse!You would ask me:what can be worse than that??But i can tell you:it's when you see a nice guy and he looks at you and when he's about to approach you suddenly turn around and go away!That's what worse!I just can't,just can't get aquainted with anyone else!And i don't know why,seriously...it's all so stupid...Really,i can't even imagine anyone else instead of TSA,but still i can't say i'm in love or smth...!!!And i don't know why it's so,i really don't.Wether it has smth to do with my brain and i'll have to remove it(please,no jokes like "why,you have nothing to remove!"),or...well,i know no other variant,just the brain thing.So this is my problem.Of course it's not my problem no1 cause i've got other things to care about,but today i did that stupid thing with turning around and going away,that's why i decided to write this...
And this song quotes are...well,i could't ignore them,cause they nearly describe this situation.TSA really doesn't know what his heart is for,and doesn't seem to care that much.And me...well,i think i don't care,plus i do have no luck and do i miss it...?This is probably the only thing not right in that quote.And what about the things i can't touch...it's about this fuckingly big fucking world i'm talking about...!!!Oh,forgot to comment the first line:i tell myself"no,nonsence,you couldn't have adored!".Really,it just makes no sence!But then i'm like"or could i ...?Why not...?".And i'm more confused than torn,cause that's too serious.
Er,well,gotta end all this big fat thing cause you'll be tired reading my nonsence.If you have any questions(and you may have,cause i created this TSA nick on the spot while writin it)contact me:7355300,Jul.(i do not accept calls from Ilya on this particular topic,sorry)

Beauty

I just thought...There could be 2 possibilities:weather women were more beautiful in the previous century,or it's black and white photography and makeup...No,really,why so?From this list Rommie Schneider's my favourite(the 1st photo).Well,and Audrey of course,I can't just forget that incredibly tini woman!:)If we all could be likeher...45 kilos!Can you imagine?Anyway,I'd like to know everybody's opinion!

(Just in case:photo1-Rommie Schneider,2-Elizabeth Taylor,3-Vivien Leigh,4-Audrey Hepburn,5-Grace Kelly,6-Greta Garbo)