Back to normal.Silence.

Hi everybody.You can congratulate me:I guess i'm back to normal.At least i hope so.Of course i have some unpleasent post syndroms,but in general it's all over now.As if...ok,closed the topic,as i like to say since wednesday.So windy outside,so cold and wet.But i like it now...quite...er,romantic.Thank god holidays are near - one week left and a whole week of rest...!I'm not sure if it's going to be rest exactly,cause i have such a trate that even if it's holidays i'm still busy.Thats my trate:i'm always busy!I always find smth to do...well,that's just me.Quite a short post,but i can't say much now...it happens sometimes:i'm just not in the mood to talk.i could say i'll enjoy wind and silence,but my father is vacum-cleaning my room,so that's not silence exactly...
Je voudrais habiter au(ou a la?) ferme en Bourgogne ou le silence total est merveiux.

This cruel,unfair world wich turned me down...

No,seriously,why is it all so unfair?!When(thank God,at last)(!!!) i decided to do a more or less sencible thing i can't do it!Really,that's just NOT FAIR!Come on,TSA,is it so difficult to switch on your internet for a while...?We happen to live in a fully modernized world with highly developed communications,why not use them when necessary(i would say when i need it).Am i selfish?I don't think so.It's you-know-who who pretty much loves himself and can't get his holy butt down to his comp!!!Men confuse me.I confuse men.Probably we just are not created for each other?Should i become a lesbian then?Yuck,i'm not that furstrated...so i'll keep on confusing them till i get what i want,and that's FINAL!!!
(Everybody thanks for understanding and helping to gather the strength i have now,i love you)

Me VS TSA

I'm back...yeah.Not without smth to tell,as usual:).But it's not going to be anything funny actually.Firstly i wanto to congratulate Anna and say one more time i'm so happy she's found
happiness at last after that week of hell.Now back to me.

Well you couldn't be that man I adored
You don't seem to know,seem to care what your heart is for...
But i don't know him anymore(unfortunately i do,so this bit is here just to rhyme...)
(...)
I don't care,i have no luck,i don't miss it all that much,
There're just so many things that i can't touch...I'm torn(and so on and so forth)

Ok,done with this song wich stuck to me several days before and i can't get it out of my head!The thing is that...I can't get the TSA(ask me later) out of my head as well.The problem is not that i think about him or smth...it's something worse!You would ask me:what can be worse than that??But i can tell you:it's when you see a nice guy and he looks at you and when he's about to approach you suddenly turn around and go away!That's what worse!I just can't,just can't get aquainted with anyone else!And i don't know why,seriously...it's all so stupid...Really,i can't even imagine anyone else instead of TSA,but still i can't say i'm in love or smth...!!!And i don't know why it's so,i really don't.Wether it has smth to do with my brain and i'll have to remove it(please,no jokes like "why,you have nothing to remove!"),or...well,i know no other variant,just the brain thing.So this is my problem.Of course it's not my problem no1 cause i've got other things to care about,but today i did that stupid thing with turning around and going away,that's why i decided to write this...
And this song quotes are...well,i could't ignore them,cause they nearly describe this situation.TSA really doesn't know what his heart is for,and doesn't seem to care that much.And me...well,i think i don't care,plus i do have no luck and do i miss it...?This is probably the only thing not right in that quote.And what about the things i can't touch...it's about this fuckingly big fucking world i'm talking about...!!!Oh,forgot to comment the first line:i tell myself"no,nonsence,you couldn't have adored!".Really,it just makes no sence!But then i'm like"or could i ...?Why not...?".And i'm more confused than torn,cause that's too serious.
Er,well,gotta end all this big fat thing cause you'll be tired reading my nonsence.If you have any questions(and you may have,cause i created this TSA nick on the spot while writin it)contact me:7355300,Jul.(i do not accept calls from Ilya on this particular topic,sorry)

Beauty

I just thought...There could be 2 possibilities:weather women were more beautiful in the previous century,or it's black and white photography and makeup...No,really,why so?From this list Rommie Schneider's my favourite(the 1st photo).Well,and Audrey of course,I can't just forget that incredibly tini woman!:)If we all could be likeher...45 kilos!Can you imagine?Anyway,I'd like to know everybody's opinion!

(Just in case:photo1-Rommie Schneider,2-Elizabeth Taylor,3-Vivien Leigh,4-Audrey Hepburn,5-Grace Kelly,6-Greta Garbo)

MICHAEL IN MOSCOW

Just found out I have no time to be sad!Marghe's happy about Guccini and I'm happy cause MICHAEL at last IS COMMING!On 9th of november!In Olympisky!CAN'T WAIT!MICHAEL!MR FLATELY and his fantastic crew!!!Can't wait!Got the tickets!...!!!...O-o-o-h Michael...Moscow hasn't heard from you for 2 years already.I hope Bernadette and Gillian will be there too...Nobody can move like Bernadette,and Gillian...she's just so...well,a passionate dancer if i can say so;).No,really.i can't wait.can't wait to see good old chap Michael and his good old legs. (the blonde one's Bernadette,the dark one's Gillian and the man is...voila,Michael!)

Another nice poster.Very encouraging.And very true.Seriously,am I'm not right...?Ok,gotta stop all this philosophy.Tired and sick of warld war 1.Why can't people be just nice to each other...?(quote:Marigold Flowers,"Adrian Mole's diary:weapons off mass destruction")

More quotes...

The final and most essential element of success is good relationships. Everything else flows from it and is nourished by it. Without its cooling water we may find success but never fulfillment

To give anything less than your best is to sacrifice the gift

I haven’t failed .I’ve just found 10,000 ways that don’t work.(Thomas Edison)

It's all about character. Watch your thoughts; they become words. Watch your words; they become actions. Watch your actions, they become habits. Watch your habits; they become character. watch your character; it becomes your destiny. (Frank Outlaw)

Anyway

Found some very nice phrases with one of my fave words:anyway.I just like it,cause it's always essential...anyway...

People are often unreasonable and self-centered.Forgive them anyway.
If you're kind,people can accuse you of ulterior motives.Be kind anyway.
If you're honest,people may cheat you.Be honest anyway.
If you find happiness,people may be jealous.Be happy anyway.
The good you do today may be forgotten tomorrow.Do good anyway.
Give the world the best you have,and it may never be enough.Give your best anyway.
Mother Thereza.

And some of my fave quotes from good old Winston:
All the greatest things are simple,and many can be expressed in a single word:freedom,justice,honour,duty,mercy,hope.
I am found of pigs.Dogs look up to us.Cats look down on us.Pigs treat us as equals.(yes,Ilya,I know you like it)
If you're going through hell,keep going.(specially for Anna)
By swollowing evil words unsaid won't hurt your stomach.
Never give in,never give in,never,never,never in nothing,great or small,large or petty,never give in except to convictions of honour and good sense.
Success is not finat,failure is not fatal:it is the courage to continue that counts.(specially for Anna,point 2)
He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire.(specially for me)(your one vice's you're too nice...never mind,remembered that funny offspring song;)

Those are the most remarkable quotes I could think off.Some explain why we shouldn't be afraid.Anyway.

Autumn

The falling of the leaves, William Butler Yeats

Autumn is over the long leaves that love us,
And over the mice in the barley sheaves;
Yellow the leaves of the rowan above us,
And yellow the wet wild-strawberry leaves.

The hour of the waning of love has beset us,
And weary and worn are our sad souls now;
Let us part, ere the season of passion forget us,
With a kiss and a tear on thy drooping brow.

Well,autumn came...so windy,wet,cold dreary...yuck!And the leaves are falling(as you may read above)and I can't imagine how I will cope in winter,cause i hate getting up in the dark and hurrying somewhere and...oh....I NEED SUMMER BACK!I hate getting up in the dark but i hate feeling depressed even more!So come on,why not turn the seasons around,eh?William seemed to feel the same way,i do pity that poor guy...and living in 1800something must have been even more terrible,espessialy in revolutionary Ireland...But that's not the point!
When will the fucking true love's first kiss break the spell and i'll live happily ever after?
Shrek,I'm waiting for you!(or at least Puss in Boots...)